Oct 30, 2015

15 Costume Ideas Too Sexy For Their Own Good

Halloween is literally in a day. And if you’re like the rest of the teenage population, you have no idea what you’re gonna dress up as. I’m guessing you’re too broke to buy a legit costume, too lazy to DIY anything, and have too small of a wardrobe to actually be anything accurate. But no fear; as the queen of easy, socially-acceptable costumes, I’m here to enlighten you.

Sexy is in. Don’t be afraid to show the world what puberty gifted you.


Sexy George Washington. History and our Founding Father could not be sexier.

Sexy Asparagus. Nothing says sex appeal like a vegetable.

Sexy Tin-Foil Alien. Nothing's sexier than exotic people (er-- "entities").

Sexy Microwave. Household appliances are the key to seduction.

Sexy Intermediate Value Theorem. 'Cause math is sexy.

Sexy Portapotty. 'Cause convenience is sexy.

Sexy IKEA 4-Piece Furniture Set. Nothing like getting a good deal on furniture to feel sexy.

Sexy Supply and Demand Curve. Cause market equilibrium is sexier than sexy.

Sexy Cotton Gin. Cotton is the new sexy.

Sexy Plastic Bag. Don't you ever wanna feel like a sexy plastic bag (driftin' through the wind wanting to start again)?

Sexy Nasal Allergies. Nothing sexier than health issues and nasal spray.

Sexy Beyonce. Beware this might be too sexy for mere mortals to endure.

Sexy Omelet. Omelets are the sexiest of all breakfast foods.

Sexy Microsoft Excel. Charts, graphs, and interpretation. What isn't sexy about it.

Sexy Sexy Super Seductress Baby. I’m not sure what this would look like, but then again for most costumes I’ve seen I don’t even know what I’m looking at. But it sounds sexy.

If those don’t work for you just go as Sexy Dog, Sexy Cat is too overdone and it’s equally as inaccurate and animal-themed.

To create your costume just wear your most revealing black outfit. Everyone will definitely be able to tell who you are. Don't worry about any confusion, there's a huge distinction between "Sexy Microwave" and "Sexy Cotton Gin". Trust me, everyone will get it. 

May you inherit a large candy fortune and share the wealth with no one and may you socialize til you get so socially overwhelmed that you need to Netflix by yourself for 3 days.

Let me know what you're going to be tomorrow!
Do you know of a better "sexy" costume? Comment below!

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